Christmas, Family and Tradition

When we think of Christmas in the West, we often get an image in our minds of mothers, fathers, children, gandparents, families sitting around a table or close together opening gifts in a manner which is often viewed as being "a family occassion".

Christmas is supposed to be a time of togetherness, of thoughtfulness, a time where we think of each other and not just ourselves, a time when we reflect on events in ours lives and thank god that the misery of war, famine, death and destruction is happening to other people and not to us.

The family is supposed to be the unit that binds us, its a system which is to enable us to be independent and have pride, a fortress which we can retreat to when under attack from enemies and our allies when matters of reality or of the heart take a turn for the worst.

At Christmas, we are fed a particular myth, one which encompasses all of these factors which for the rest of the year lack substance but this season has degenerated from an outlook, where old Middle East traditions are brought back to life in the West and families rally together to make sure that no one is excluded.

For many people, Christmas is a time where lonliness dominates the event, a time where many people are actually excluded becuase isolation, distance and finance prevents allot of people from taking part.

On December the 25th, the television will be showing a whole multitude of films and soap operas, the films are of the ideal family, the soap operas are full of despair and some where inbetween will come the yearly Christmas Helpline, which for one day will help a desperate person cope with the realities of modern day living.

In the few minutes of the advert showing the helpline number, many wont even stop and think of the women who are being beaten by their husbands, the alcoholics and drug adicts, who do take their childrens presents to sell for their next fix and no one will give a "flying fart" for those who commit suicide.

We wont even think twice, although many will say afterwards that its "disgusting", that a family event will end up with the Police having to seperate and arrest people, because in the "spirit" of Christmas, families have parties and some drunk relatives will end up smashing a beer bottle in another family members face.

Or another example is "drink driving", the season of "goodwill to all men", where people "eat, drink and be merry", where a driver having got a bit too "merry" on their way home ends up behind the wheel of a car and before they know it, the Police are asking questions, ambulance lights are flashing and another person is either injurred or dead.

And what do we think about being alone at this time of year? Do we ever think about the thousands of elderly people, who on Christmas day do not get to see their children or grandchildren because they want to spend the day "with just the family".

Or is it the case, that a person with domentia, deathness, incontinence or fraility is a bit too embarrassing to be sat down at the kitchen table with, to eat your turkey and sing songs for Jesus Christ - its hard to believe that many of these "embarrassments" are the reason you don't speak German child!

Because afterall, when your opening your presents and sit down with the "family", you dont want to have to worry about grandparents making a mess of themselves, or asking who the Grandkids are, or do we?

Are we brave enough to take up these tasks of responsibility and look beyond the superficial facade which Christmas has come to represent because with Christmas comes that particular image of what "family" is supposed to mean.

The Goodwill to all men, means all men, not just some over others or does this goodwill stop for new year, where we then make stupid resolutions to give up chocolate, smoking and lose some weight.

Where we let the dark stranger in to give us some good luck, with his lump of coal and hope that the new year is going to be better than the last. Where we kiss strangers, hug our friends and phone our relatives to wish them all a "happy new year" and then forget them until the next, where we inform them that we've been to busy.

How we forget but soon we're saying "lest we forget", or have we?It's not for me to answer.